


You Should Go (Even If I Can't Follow)

by Shadowling-guistical (Hit_or_Mish)



Series: you hear what you want (but you never wanted me) [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Side Story, academic anxiety, mild logan angst, virgil sanders is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29979582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hit_or_Mish/pseuds/Shadowling-guistical
Summary: Logan is about to do something that would be the biggest mistake of his life. Virgil intends to do something about it.Or: One of the many times Virgil pushed his friends towards something greater.(Side story to the You Hear What You Want (But You Never Wanted Me)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: you hear what you want (but you never wanted me) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2203770
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	You Should Go (Even If I Can't Follow)

**Author's Note:**

> Side story to You Hear What You Want (But You Never Wanted Me)
> 
> 1/3

“So— What did they say?”

Virgil noticed that Logan was avoiding his gaze. Looking down, sideways, just anywhere else except his eyes. That was...unnerving. Especially when Logan had been such an avid believer of the power of eye contact. Relentless onyxes behind glinting glass. Always so bright and shone as much as the stars he so adored. 

“It doesn’t matter Virgil. I’m— I’m not going,”

Logan might as well have told him that he wanted to go to Clown School. 

“...What? Why?” 

Logan pushed up his glasses. He might as well be trying to explain their thermodynamics unit to Virgil again. 

“I— Virgil, it’s competitive— Only the top 1% of applicants will be accepted. And the students aiming for the spot were— They’ll all be wildly successful students—”

“Successful like...Like you?” Virgil gestured vaguely to his friend. To the As he had strung up from each semester like a string of pearls. To the praises from literally _every_ teacher they ever had wreathed around his academic career like a garland of flowers. To— To him.

“I, really— Let’s just focus on our project—”

“Logan—” He pushed away their materials across from the desk they were using in the local library, “I just...I thought this is what you wanted? It’s a scholarship in Astrophysics. It’s— I thought this was your dream. Do you, do you have something else on your mind?”

“It is,” Logan was quick enough to amend. Good. So his friend hadn’t miraculously hit his head and forgot about literally the only thing he talked about since Virgil had met him. “It still is. But like I said, competition will be tough. Cutthroat, even. And there’s still so much that I lack,” Logan explained, fidgeting with the tie around his neck. The very same tie Virgil saw him wear before leaving for the preliminary tests to gain the scholarship. 

“But they said you pass?”

“I—”

“Logan, dude, did you pass the test?”

He sees Logan bite the inside of his cheek.

“...Yes. I passed. They...They want me to come in for an interview,”

Virgil exhaled, relief flooded his chest and filled it with something warm. 

“Then there you go,”

“..But what then?” Logan's short outburst sounded nearly snappish while he looked very frustrated, “I talked to— To Collin. You remember Collin—”

Virgil didn’t. Not really. Someone Logan met online, someone that has something to do about the scholarship. Someone whose opinions were apparently important enough that Logan had staked his entire future on. 

“—He said— He was saying that this— This was just the beginning,” Logan laughed. Low enough that they probably won’t be getting the stink-eye from the other library patrons. But edged with hysteria enough that it sounded kind of breathless, “And that everything will get tougher from now on. And I thought— I thought—”

He deflated. And Virgil could almost feel his heartbeat pounding in the silence between them. He let his friend calm down, and Virgil didn’t push when Logan cleared his throat. He smiled when the other boy took deep breaths. 4-7-8, just like he taught Virgil before, once upon a sleepless night.

“...I thought— I thought that...How in Newton’s name did I ever think I could?” He twisted his hands. Oh god, Virgil knows the feeling. He knows the insidious whisper, the voice that disguises itself with well meaning intentions and self preservation like the voice of his own mother. As if the voice hadn’t walked with him hand in hand, closer to him than his own shadow.

So he knew them a little too well. 

However, the thought of Logan of all people being familiar with that kind of feeling left a bitter taste on Virgil’s tongue. 

“That you could do it?” Virgil’s words were more for clarification rather than confirmation. He didn’t need to see Logan look away and nod.

“Yes. That is to say...I do not think I am cut out for this. Especially now. They won’t...They would not find me suitable.” He listed out things like he listed out constellations and nebulae, “I am frank. Abrasive. Straight forward. Ill-tempered. Everything that might jeopardize the interview. So, I think I should, I should quit while I’m ahead,”

Virgil opened his mouth to argue. To point out how bullshit it was. He wanted to shake some sense into him because goddamn Logan. He wanted Logan to know that if he were the night sky, then his virtues will be just like the stars. Impossible to count. Unfathomable. Unquestionable. 

But Logan had stopped saying anything else after. He wouldn’t listen to anything else after. And well, that was that.

For Logan, at least. For Virgil, it only served to conjure snakes in his stomach. Ones that writhed and left him feeling uncomfortable and restless. He realized later, hours after parting with Logan that it was the feeling that something was wrong. _Wrong wrong wrong_. That there was a huge mistake.

That he needed to do something. 

So days later, where Virgil cornered him at the library with his laptop tucked under his arm. His eye bags were darker, the taste of coffee lingered on his tongue, and his heart pitter pattered from the caffeine. He saw Logan’s puzzled expression even before he reached their table as he grinned. He couldn’t see it, but his grim was less friendly and more...maniacal. Logan rightfully looked a little scared. Because if Virgil was being honest, asking _Remus_ to be in charge of the coffee was probably not a good idea. 

He set the laptop down, a little harder than strictly necessary.

“Virgil,” He greeted, “Greetings. I’m not aware we were meeting today,” Was all that Logan said, sounding faintly confused. 

“I don’t know,” Virgil flipped the laptop open and zeroed in on his friend’s bewildered expression. 

“...Me neither since you just barged in like this. Is there anything I can do for you?” Virgil faintly heard Logan taking a whiff. And then nearly made a double take, “Are you— Did you have coffee? You _never_ drink coffee,”

“Three cans,” Virgil’s quip was as fast as him flipping his laptop open, “and it’s growing on me. The point is—” He paused, feeling suddenly woozy from the caffeine rush. Virgil shook his head and continued, “Point is, I don’t know how to tell you, not in the way I know how. So. This is what we’re gonna do,”

“T—tell me?”

“Firstly. Logan,” He pointed a finger towards Logan, who Virgil wasn’t surprised that he looked halfway from calling someone for help, “Lo-- Logan Elijah Beryl. Ehem,” Virgil took a deep breath, as if he was moments away from bestowing a disciple with a revelation, “Don't you _DARE_ think for a moment that you don't deserve the scholarship. Don’t you even-- Because you do.”

Logan’s eyes were glassy. For a moment, he sees Virgil blur. Part of him was sure that it might be from unshed tears. Because to think that Virgil would want to show support to him in _his_ language...Through ways that are important to Logan. It was...humbling, touching. 

(Then again, it might also be because Virgil is vibrating out of existence due to the sheer strength of Remus’ coffee. Logan had seen the damage that the substance had done before. Once you drink that, you might as well call walking to the couch cardio.)

“If they end up not picking you because of a freaking interview, then it’s their loss. And fuck it, I’m going to get that through your nerdy brain even if it’s the last thing I do—”

Virgil swung his laptop to face Logan, where a Powerpoint presentation was already set up to Slideshow. 

* * *

LOGAN BERYL WILL KICK ASS, HIS BRAIN IS JUST MEAN

By: Virgil Picani.

* * *

Logan couldn’t help but laugh weakly.

“Secondly,” Virgil slumped to a seat and hit enter, “Is buckle up. There are 300 slides and we are not leaving until I go through each and every single one,”

“I…”

“There are charts. And references. I did it in APA though but-- Um, anyway. So. Do you— Do you wanna listen to what I gotta say?”

(Virgil would smile in triumph when he ended up only needing to get to slide 160.)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr @shadowling-guistical!


End file.
